I think I’ve shared before on my blog that I journal my prayers. Not telling you in anyway to boast, but I find a prayer journal a really good way to keep your focus on the prayer, and it also allows a little extra processing time to maybe hear what God is saying in reply. Also, I think it’s awesome to be able to look back on prayers from a few years back and do a little inventory of answered prayer, unanswered prayer, what prayers weren’t answered and your glad, and what prayers you may have got a better alternative to what you originally asked for, or perhaps you set a prayer down, maybe you gave up hope and perhaps God would say, hang on, my timing is always perfect.
I’m still working out how I’ll manage to dispose of all my journals before I die, because I’d be mortified at the thought of anyone ever reading the stuff I discuss with God, all the stupid stuff I desperately ask for in prayer.
Now I should be clear, I don’t journal every prayer, but I would try at least to get one down on a day, then maybe skip a few days. There are days it coud be three pages, other days three sentences. I think it’s safe to say I’m an advocate for a little prayer journalling.
So, I said I’d be mortified if anyone read my prayers, not that they are bad, it just feels like I bare a part of my soul no-one else gets to see. I’m not ashamed, or have anything to hide, it just feels so vulnerable out there.
She says just before she shares a little snippit of my prayer, but it’s safe, I think. On Monday morning, as I kicked off a new working week, I was praying about my job. I was asking God basically to help me be a good employee, that God would help me as I tried to honour him, and my bosses and the company with my work ethic. I then went on to ask God to equip and empower me to do the best work to my ability. As I wrote out the sentence, my pen kind of took on a life form of its own and, as I was finishing off to the best of my ability, my eager hand wrote on without any thought. I continued to write my God given ability, not the limited ability I put on myself. As I looked at my own hand writing, somewhat bemused at what my eyes were reading, I was thinking to myself, oooohhh that’s good, taking a certain amount of pride in what I had just written, knowing fine well there wasn’t much of it was my doing.
So it turns out God wanted to do a little heart work on the area of self doubt I thought! Quickly accepting that it was very possible that I was capable of a whole lot more than I achieved. The Holy Spirit urgently corrected me. This was not a simple matter of self doubt, a mere fail or dip in confidence, this was deep seeded deception from Hell, that I had allowed to take up residence in my heart and head for many years. This was agreement with lies, LIES the enemy had twisted from a period of my life when life’s circumstances had put a little delay on my development, and the wicked old worm had hijacked the mind of a vunerable girl to convince her that this minor set back was a life long condition.
Sad to say, even with all the heart conditioning and working through lies of the enemy over the past few years, I still listen to the chants of the devil. I still listen to the lies that say you will never be able, you can’t, you’re not smart enough, there are others who can do that much better, why even try, that’s beyond your ability. stop kidding yourself.
I have a friend who, in an honest conversation, told me the fact that she failed her 11+ at age eleven still very much followed her around over twenty five years later. I totally get that. At age eleven she came into agreement with the lie that she wasn’t smart.
Another friend had a horrible teacher make an off-hand comment about cleaning toilets the rest of their life; again they came into agreement with a lie that they weren’t capable of more.
I know people who have had parents, boyfriends, bosses, teachers, friends speak life limiting declarations over their lives and, while there are a few who have dug their heels in and said sod it, I’ll prove you wrong, more often that not, the sad reality is that the person will somehow be mislead into believing the terrible distortion of the truth and walk in that for many years if not all their life.
And not only are they limiting their own achievements in life but also denying themselves the honour and privilege of stepping into Gods calling. the plans and purposes God himself design them for.
I pray that everyone who reads this blog is illuminated to a lie that they are currently in agreement with that is limiting their God given ability. I pray that lie falls off in the name of Jesus, and is replaced with the truth that God is your Creator and designer and perfector, and he knows all you are capable of, and he gets to say when you are not able, not your teacher, partner or parent..
And even if your long history of listening to lies is still stopping you from believing in yourself, believe in God, because he makes Kings of Shepherd boys.
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”
Ephesians 2:10 NLT
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11 NLT