Apologies for this week’s blog coming late; to say I have been distracted is an understatement.
With coronavirus spreading, life currently is unrecognisable compared to even a week ago. Our new structure and routine consist of home all day, every day. Makes me kind of regret every mumble I had about never having a minute in my busy mum life to this point. I’m still a very busy mummy, just confined to one building with a serious lack of social interaction.
Confession time. All the great encouragement I am always so quick to give about praying everything through and reading the word, I must confess that all the hype from the coronavirus has had me in a right pickle. My head feels like a bucket of worms. The more I read the news and hear stories of others, I feel completely overwhelmed. I’ve found myself googling the news twenty times a day for updates. I’m struggling to compose and position myself for time with God and I quickly get distracted when reading the Bible. I find myself in complete despair when I sit down to pick a podast, and end up scrolling the news. I feel numb and uninterested about almost everything; coronavirus news has infected not my body, but my brain.
Because I’m struggling to be still with God, I wondered would it help if I got busy with God. So, with a bucket of hot, soapy water, I got down to clean my kitchen floor with a tiny scrub brush (so therapeutic). I whispered, oh God what am I going to do? Everything is a mess and I’m half scared to death that my kids or me will get sick or die from this. I know I have not been given a spirit of fear, but these are scary times.
Right there, on my knees scrubbing the kitchen floor, God reminded me that we had been here before. We as in me, and God was right beside me. A quick nose scrunch as I recalled the early days when I first got poorly with my kidney. I was all fired up and steadfast in my faith and certain that God would see me through but, as my illness progressed, my faith got a little weaker, as my symptoms got worse it got hard to pray, as my meds increased, it got hard to concentrate, and the more I heard the doctors say they couldn’t understand, the less I wanted to hear from God.
It’s so similar to now with this nasty virus, every day as I read the news. I feel what God wanted to remind me of is that, in the times of uncertainty, pain and despair, through my illness, God was there, he was faithful and he saw me through it and to the other side, my life was better than before, but my faith needed to be restored and strengthened.
“See, God has come to save me. I will trust in him and not be afraid. The Lord GOD is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.””
Isaiah 12:2 NLT
I feel like God was saying remember how faithful l I was then, Terri? And I will be again and again and again. God reminded me of how I fell into that pit of fear and hopelessness. And he is saying I didn’t let you down before, and I’m not about to start now.
Today we hung our rainbow drawings in the window to share a little hope. Well, as God has proven Himself faithful before I know to place my hope in him. He is my Hope, my Light, my Strength, my Comfort, and in him I find Rest.
Now, if I can let God get on with his job, I think I need to get on with mine. Caring for my kids and being well for them. I think I need to make some changes. Like reducing my time on social media and the news, resisting the urge to go to bed late and sleep in. I need to, for my own mind sake, get up, get showered and dressed and try and not munch my way through the day, but eat sensibly. I need to carve out solitude time with God every day and I need to keep my mind focused on what I know to be true.
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”
Philippians 4:8-9 NLT
Will you join me today fixing your thoughts on this one truth, that God is faithful and he never has and never will let us down?
Here’s a super cute video of my kids from a few years back that just melts my heart and has put the biggest smile on my face today.
Peace and love
Terri xo
Terri, this is fantastic; just what people need to hear at the moment. I love how you are willing to make yourself so vulnerable. Please keep blogging us through this difficult time. I love the video of the boys – one of my favourite Bible passages.
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Your children are precious.
Be careful of watching/listening to too much COVID-19 news. I was in a similar place to you after 9/11. I allowed it to consume me to the point that my marriage was in jeopardy. It took me a long time to fully get out of that dark place. Prayers for you during this time, my friend.
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Same over here in the States. Every knee will bow and that includes the Corona virus. Girl wash your hands…lol.
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You are absolutely not alone. Despite the many, many times I have been brought through extremely challenging times, despite all the ways we have been blessed again and again. despite being blessed with all we need each and every day, despite ALL of it I can become bogged down in fear and anxiety quite easily. We are merely human and let’s face it, these are especially difficult times, unprecedented in this day and age. Perhaps we needed a reminder of human frailty and the power of God. Thanks for your honesty. It helps to know we are not so unique or different from others.
having said all this, doubt also has a silver lining – it sends us back to the Divine One again and again and again and again.
Wishing you many blessings. Wishing you peace. Stay safe.
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What a relevant post in this time of stress. Terri has her usual honesty which is disarming and yet communicates deep truth.
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It is easy to allow our lives to be consumed with the endless updates and discussion about the virus. God’s Word and prayer are meaningful places to go.
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