For the purpose of getting to know me. I’ve included my inner voice in italics, and if you think the italics make rough reading, I should highlight. It has been censored for blog appeal.
About five years a girlie night out with my cousins, took a dramatic twist. A couple of bible bashers from my cousin’s church came waltzing into the restaurant and plopped themselves down at our table. Apparently normal behaviour amongst these church folk. Not so for me. I learnt that not only autistic kids couldn’t read body language, but grown ass Christian couples that had escaped their kids and were looking a bit of good old Christian banter also lacked the same ability. [scary Terri]
Cue the outspoken Christian. You know the type, I’m going to ask in a jokey tone but I actually really mean it. ( please read in a high-pitched kind of panto drag queen voice) Sooooo “Terri are you going to come to church then”?
( now drop is low and drag it out Kevin and Perry style) No Moses, I’m not! So run along back to your sandal shop, I think you left your man bag there. [eyeroll]
[fake smile] No, No I said. The church is not for me. I would burst into flames if I walked into the church.
Truthfully I grew up in church. I’d made too many mistakes, I just believed there was no place for me in church.
May I now introduce God “The Comedian” little did I know then, but I had just prophesied over my very own life.
God had his eye on the target. He just needed me in position, and he was armed and ready to aim. He was certainly not going to miss and hit the wall.
So off to church I went. I had this sussed. In I’d go, smile at all the nice Christians, move my lips in time with words on the screen. Keep a straight face around the crazy people waving their hand in the air like lunatics. Don’t laugh!! DO NOT LAUGH TERRI. Put my fiver on the plate, oh yeah offering would surely keep them sweet, then id head home and get ready to hit the bar for Sunday club. Then I could say, yep I give it a go. It’s not for me. Now scram, on to your next victim Mary.
But you guessed it. God is God and he seized the moment, I suppose if your only going to get one shot, be sure to do it right. Right?
I walked in the front doors of the church and as promised my new friend was standing one hand on the fire extinguisher just in case. all these God folk are hilarious
I don’t know who tipped off the pastor. That dude spoke his message that day like he had written just especially for me. He never took his eyes off me the entire message ( not really but God had me in a headlock, so it felt that way) and every word he spoke. Spoke straight to me like daggers to my heart.
So when he read the words, He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings, you will find refuge. Psalm 91: 4 my fire sparked to life.
A fire sparked to life in my heart for God. it was just a tiny spark. And as I left the building that day. My head lifted a little higher, my shoulders a lot lighter and my eyes a whole lot puffier. If my head didn’t know it then, My heart surely did, I needed God and his refuge.
Here is the part of a good story where it says, and she lived happily ever after, its been all rosy in the garden ever since. All my troubles disappeared, bad habits died, life is a dream and we all lived happily ever after. So come along folks jump on board the Jesus train.
[eye rolling,] Bad News Sadie, doesn’t work like that. Contrary to popular belief, jumping on the God glider is more a case of, buckle up Blondie; you’re in for the ride of your life.
The past five years would be closer compared to white water rafting down the waterfalls in the Amazon jungle. The conditions should list requirements as please bring a change of clothes especially underwear.
Back in the early days when I danced the two camp tango, I was so sure; I could live both old and new life simultaneously. Too completely snowballing of course, then drag my sorry butt back for some good old fashion, tail between leg repentance. Back on board, There were days that life felt like a high-speed police chase. Other days it felt like I hitched a ride on the back of my Gran’s mobility scooter.
I don’t have all the answers; I’m definitely not professing to be some deeply spiritual theologian. I actually couldn’t even pretend to be anything remotely academic in any area, let alone complex theology. What I do know is this, that refuge Pastor Gareth talked about that day. God provided that! followed with the countless blessings as promised. I’ve a long, long way to go but I’ve come such a long way too. As I got to know God he has broken chains of unforgiveness, shame, doubt, guilt and rejection that had held me in bondage for years. I know this, Jesus came before me and laid down some serious groundwork for Me to live in the freedom I do today, this very ordinary, a bit of a shambles, back to front, inside out. Upside down life I’m living.
If a movie of my life came out. I’ve God as Narrator, Jesus as my action hero. Holy Spirit as my BFF. The Bible as my treasure map. An epic plot, lots of twist and turns, hidden agenda. Non-stop blessings, a great soundtrack, lots of big belly laughs, Some tears along the way, a cliffhanger ending that has you crying out for the sequel; Eternity!
wouldnt I have myself a box office hit?
Sadly my fifty quid budget wouldn’t stretch to a Hollywood blockbuster. Instead, I invite you to join me on my toe-curling, knee tapping, hip happin [ssshh it rhymes] crazy adventure with God.